The New Norm

I was going to write and post this yesterday but then I got involved in giving myself a pretty new mani/pedi (pink with white polka dots, awesome) and spaced on writing this. I know that I've committed myself to a lot over the next month or so between NaNoWriMo and getting ready for the 2013 Blogging from A to Z Challenge by writing short stories for this blog and embroidering for my craft blog. Add to that my ongoing struggles with weight loss and that's a lot of things to concentrate on and keep straight. I know that I can handle all of it but I don't want my blogs to fall by the wayside in the process. So I've decided that for this one I'm going to begin doing daily updates on each of those major projects and maybe write a blurb about anything else going on.

The format may change over the month but as of right now, I'm planning on it being pretty much a form that I can just fill out. Like this:

NaNoWriMo
Where I Should Be:
Where I Actually Am:

Weigh Loss
Where I Should Be:
Where I Actually Am:

Crafty A to Z
Where I Should Be:
Where I Actually Am:

Story A to Z
Where I Should Be:
Where I Actually Am:

By saving that as a template in Blogger, I'll be able to go in each night and spend a few minutes filling it in and letting everyone know what's going on. It's actually going to be useful for a couple things. First, to keep the blog from falling dormant. But also by laying out where I should be and where I'm actually at each day to you, it will be a good system of keeping track of myself. I'll be able to see if I'm staying on track or straying from the plan. As of right now, I don't know if I'll be writing other posts or just sticking to the daily updates. We'll see as the next month progresses. Thanks for sticking with me as I develop my new routine.

Hell Yeah

So I weighed myself this morning. Was totally prepared to gain.

Weight: 252.6 lbs
Pounds to Goal: 2.6

That's right. I lost a little over four pounds this last week. And not just that but I moved into the next BMI category. I was in the "very severely obese" group and now this put me into the "severely obese" group. I didn't exercise but I did do a lot of standing and walking while I was cutting things out to sew over the weekend. And all the sewing cut down on my eating. No boredom or mindless eating while I'm sewing because I won't eat over my machine or fabric. Keeping this short because I plan to post again later. Will explain then.

What Did I Get Myself Into

I promised a post about writing and here it is. I meant to write it yesterday but I had errands that I had to do and wasn't able to get to it. But here I am now.

I've mentioned a few times on the blog that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, what I wanted to be. I kind of had it narrowed down to being a musician or a writer for what I wanted to do. I've prayed a lot for guidance. I knew that whatever signs God had put out pointing the way, I was missing. So I asked for something more obvious, a big neon yellow sign. And I got it. In the form of a neon yellow banner. Literally. I see stories develop in my head like movies. I was tossing around ideas about the novel I've been playing at the last few months and I could see the preparations for a large feast that would be the finale of the novel (did I mention I don't see the scenes in order?).  And there being hoisted along the walls in this idea were bright yellow banners. I got my sign.

I'm a writer.

That's what I'm meant to be. So that's where my focus will lie. Music will always be a very important part of my life but I just wasn't meant to do it professionally. And I'm at peace with that. So I signed up for NaNoWriMo, which has caused me a lot of stress in the last couple weeks. I haven't written anything on my novel. I've been writing character summaries and making notes of things that I want to happen since one of the very few rules is that nothing written prior to November 1 counts. But according to the schedule I came up with for creating my 2013 Blogging from A to Z  entries, I have to start next week. And I'm not working on just this blog. I'm participating on my craft blog. Which means crafting. MAKING things. And I, like a dumbass, decided that I needed to embroider for the A to Z challenge. Headdesk. What did I get myself into? I might just finish going crazy (cause I was already on that road) in November. I have to write 1,667 words a day to get to 50,000 for NaNoWriMo. I need to begin writing my posts for this blog's A to Z. And I need to do the embroideries and write the posts for Oh Frog It's A to Z. Oh boy. Send any extra sanity my way in November.

The Lance Armstrong Rant

I ranted this over on Facebook in two back-to-back posts earlier. Here it is for your reading pleasure. I know that the paragraphs are long and probably should have been split up, but I just copy and pasted without editing.

I'm not convinced of Lance Armstrong's guilt until he says it himself or I get to read the full, unedited 200-something page report. They've tried him in the court of public opinion without giving us the actual evidence. If they have such definite, without-a-doubt proof that Lance doped, why won't they present it to the public? They owe it to his past and present fans and doubters to give us all t...

he information. That's the only way to save face for cycling at this point. Until they give us that report, his fans (like myself) who still don't believe he doped and even non-fans who just don't like the way that USADA, the UCI and all the other governing bodies have handled it will have bad feelings about the sport of cycling.

 

And to continue my rant, all sports, whether it's cycling, NFL, NHL, NASCAR, NBA, insert your favorite sport here, the lesson to learn from all of this is that honesty and transparency are the only way to handle a situation of cheating. Cycling has done more to tarnish their own repuation than Lance Armstrong has. Say he is guilty, why is the title being stripped 13 years after his first Tour de France win? It is the responsibility of the sport's rule makers to find and punish the cheaters. It looks worse that it took them so long to punish the cheater than it does that the guy cheated. Then on top of that to hide information from the fans who attend events, watch them on television, buy team merchandise and support sponsors makes the situation reek like back-room dealings. As their income-source, the fans of a sport have the right to know Person A failed Test B on Date C. We spend our money on the merchandise put out by the teams and on the products the sponser makes. That money is then put into the sport. But it starts with the fans. Without fans that are willing to spend their paychecks on products related to a sport, there would be no sport. They owe it to us, their cash-cow, to give us all the information that they have. On top of the fact that we pay their paychecks, when they are going to not only knock our heroes off their pedestals but smash that pedestal to smithereens, we should be told exactly why our heroes should not be idolized and respected. Complete and total honesty and transparency. It's the only way for a sport to weather a storm like this and come out on the other side with all the fans they had in the first place. Especially when so many of those fans only came to the sport because of the man they just demolished.

 

 

Yo

Sorry I've been sort of MIA lately.  I've been working on some projects: sewing Halloween costumes for Sniece and Rnephew (I'll blog about them later over on Oh Frog It), prepping for NaNoWriMo (I'll post more about writing later, probably tomorrow), and also working on my closet (which I'll blog about over on Out of This Rut).

But I thought I'd give you an update about weight loss. Not much has been going on. The last couple weeks I was so occupied with the creation of the costumes that I didn't exercise and didn't count calories. I don't know what it is. But I just can't figure out how to count calories on days that I sew. I forget to log food, how much I ate, what I ate. I think part of it is that I have to use every brain cell to sew because even though I can follow a pattern and even alter a pattern, I still have to work at it. I have to focus and any little distraction, I'm screwed. I lost count of the seams that I had to rip out and redo because someone distracted me while I was sewing. So anyways... I wasn't surprised that I had gained some over the last couple weeks.

Weight: 256.8 lbs
Pounds to Goal: 6.8

My interest in losing weight has been renewed in the last few days because I found a fun site (GoChicorGoHome.com) where you upload photos of your clothes and make outfits. And playing around has reminded me of my desire to wear the clothes that I want to wear (that's a rant for a whole 'nother day). So many styles (and colors) of clothes aren't manufactured for plus size women. I want to be able to just pick up a pair of jeans off the rack or a blouse or dress. I'm tired of having to scour for my size and it being hit or miss. And then having limited options, limited styles and on top of that paying more. So far today things have been going well in the exercise/calorie counting area, so I'm optimistic. Things are looking up.

Rusty Wallace Needs to Shut His Trap

So, Dale Earnhardt Junior isn't racing this weekend or next because he's suffered two concussions in quick  succession. And of course, the ESPN/ABC crew discussed concussions and their opinions of the situation pre-show. Right off the bat, Rusty Wallace pissed me off. He talked about how he wouldn't have made the same decision in the exact same position and in the past there were times when he had a concussion and would get dizzy in the shower but was totally okay to drive. I call bullshit. If you can't stand in the shower for five minutes you have no business driving a car at 200 miles per hour for 500 miles.

I applaud Dale Junior for making the very tough decision to seek out medical care and remove himself from the car when he knew that something wasn't right. His decision to drive or not directly affects the safety of 42 other drivers, 258 over-the-wall crew members (6 per team, 43 teams), 43 NASCAR pit road officials  but also the countless other behind-the-wall crew members, media representatives, owners, family members, fans with hot passes, safety crews, NASCAR officials, and even the fans in the lower rows of the stands. Some people would accuse me of being dramatic about that and making this more serious than it is. But a concussion is a very serious medical problem that should not be taken lightly.

According to the Mayo Clinic (www.mayoclinic.com) the symptoms are:

Headache or a feeling of pressure in the head

Temporary loss of consciousness

Confusion or feeling as if in a fog

Amnesia surrounding the traumatic event

Dizziness or "seeing stars"

Ringing in the ears

Nausea or vomiting

Slurred speech

Fatigue

Concentration and memory complaints

Irritability and other personality changes

Sensitivity to light and noise

Sleep disturbances

Psychological adjustment problems and depression

Disorders of taste and smell

Do YOU want to strap yourself into a car and race at 200 miles per hour inches away from a man experiencing any of those symptoms? I wouldn't want to drive 35 miles an hour a lane away from someone with any of those problems.


At any moment, a driver could make a decision on-track that directly affects the health, safety and lives of the drivers, crewmen, officials and fans around him. Do I need to remind you of names like Dale Earnhardt Senior and "Fireball" Roberts along with all of the other drivers listed on Wikipedia in the List of NASCAR fatal accidents? This is serious. I'm not a Dale Junior fan but I don't want him or any other driver to be removed from a car and taken to the hospital on a stretcher.

Rusty Wallace needs to shut up and stop advocating that people lie about their concussions and drive anyways. That's heard not just by the professional drivers but also by the fans at home. As a former driver with influence, he should be urging people to admit they don't feel well and seek medical attention. And above all else, do NOT put yourself or the people around you in a dangerous and potentially life-ending position. Until he admits that he is not a doctor and does not know best in this situation, he needs to just keep his damned mouth shut.

Casual Vacancy

Well. I finished reading Casual Vacancy. Here's the review that I wrote on Goodreads.


The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


The biggest reason that I bought this book was because it's written by J.K. Rowling. I was hoping for and under the impression based on the description that this book would be a mystery. I'm not sure what genre this book would be listed as but it's a drama that doesn't pull any punches about being a fictional look at some very real problems.

While it's easy to recognize Rowling's style and appreciate that the book is well-written, I did not like this book. The characters were developed in such a way that they felt real, but I could not connect with any and disliked all of them. Even the two I least disliked, Krystal and Sukhvinder, never managed to pull me into the story. I was turned off by the amount of swearing and graphic narrative in the book. Throughout, it felt like a little kid had learned a cuss word and was testing the limits of how many times they could use it without being reprimanded. To borrow a word frequently used in the book, it felt inauthentic. I didn't feel like it genuinely did anything for the story; I thought that Rowling threw things in just to say "See, this isn't Harry Potter and it's not for kids."

And this book definitely is not for children. Most high schoolers aren't going to be exposed to anything in this book that they haven't already been exposed to, whether in real life or through television, movies or books. A mature middle schooler might be able to read the book, but I would suggest that parents read it first to decide.

After reading it, I can tell you that I would not have bought or read this book if it hadn't been written by Rowling. I have varied taste in books, but this type of story does not appeal to me. I read to escape from real life, not to have a window into such a depressing, downer society. If you enjoy dramas rooted in stark reality, this might be a great book. But for me, it was not enjoyable.



View all my reviews

Weigh In

So last Sunday when I weighed myself it had been nearly two full weeks since I'd weighed myself. Luckily, I hadn't gained anything. I had managed to lose only a little more than half a pound to 257.9 so hey, any loss is progress.

I've been struggling. I know what to do. I understand the concepts of losing weight. I just can't seem to make myself do it for more than a couple days at a time. That's why I haven't really been posting that much about weight loss. How many times can I say that I'm struggling before it gets boring and whiny?

But last Monday I got a Fitbit. I've been wearing it every day and night since. I haven't done much exercise-wise but it's nice to have that gauge. And I've tracked my calories every day since Tuesday. I've gone over what they recommend every day so far, but I've kept my calories below what I've burned. In fact, I'm not sure how I feel about their estimation. I understand that it's dynamic so the more I move the more calories I get to eat. But it changes on me all the time. And several days it's taken huge drastic drops (600+ calories) into ranges that I don't consider doable or healthy. It drops to 1000 calories a day and at one point yesterday it dropped to 750! I don't fucking think so. So I'm not quite sure what's going to happen. While I don't live and die by calories because I consider them estimations and guidelines, I do like being able to plan ahead. But the constantly changing calorie goal is extremely hard to plan for. I'll give the personalized setting another week, then I think I might try out the sedentary setting. If I can't get it leveled out and figured out then I'll probably just concentrate on keeping my intake lower than my burn. I don't know if I'll go back to using Lose It to track. I like the food logging on Fitbit better and I don't like the way the Fitbit syncs with Lose It. So the next few weeks will be a lot of experimentation to figure out what works best for me.

So I weighed myself this morning again. Making Sunday my weigh in day.

Weight: 256.0 lbs
Pounds to Goal: 6.0

Heck yeah! Almost 2 pounds this week even with my lack of exercise. Well that's it for now.

Hi

I've been really lazy lately about blogging. And reading blogs. There was 800+ new posts to read in my Google reader this morning that have accumulated over the last week. And I didn't even bother reading anything. I just moved on. No real reason. Just not feeling it the last few days. But I figured I should check in, let you know what's going on.

I'm slightly more than halfway through Casual Vacancy right now. I'm struggling with this book. Most definitely not my cup and tea. When I finally finish it, I'll write an actual review. I joined Goodreads. I'd seen a few people mention it on their blogs (prior to this last week) and on Facebook and decided to check it out.

Got a Fitbit Ultra earlier in the week. I'll write a real post probably tomorrow about what's going on with me weight wise because it's been a couple weeks.

Have been crocheting like a fiend trying to put some autumn/winter pieces into my wardrobe. So far I have finished one poncho, one shrug and am currently working on a second (totally different) poncho. I also unearthed a shrug in my closet that I had chucked in with my wear-around-the-house stuff that with some minor changes will be able to transfer into my actual wardrobe. I've got posts about those on my to-do list. Along with posts for my style blog.

That's all for now. It's supposed to snow this weekend so I'll probably get my to-do list of posts to write done.